Banter board
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July 31,
2006
at 20:16,
Joe Yu
said:
I seem to have overrun
the word count by exactly
1 word. The last bit
should have said
"more than an
adequate
replacement".
July 31,
2006
at 20:09,
Joe Yu
said:
With only a few weeks
before the start of the
premiership season, I
thought it might be a
good idea to post a
reminder for the imminent
return of Yahoo Fantasy
Football which, like
Wembley stadium, should
be ready to go by late
October 2007. There's
also that matter of our
predictions game in which
Feng has reclaimed his
position as king of the
hill. Surely he won't
cede this lofty title
(and the chance to pick
1-1s ad nauseam) to go
gallivanting off
stateside? As usual,
we'll all be waiting in
anticipation of the
myriad of rule changes
Yahoo will shortly
conjure up. We may have
seen a few already with
its World Cup FF
experiment. Surprisingly,
the system that relied
heavily on lockdowns
didn't yield a single
happy hour, so in that
regard it could be seen
as a success. However,
the fact of the matter is
that it was dreadfully
boring, as every team
simply chose from a
select pool of 40 or so
players. It almost makes
you wish for the days of
the old game - except
without Tim winning of
course. As everyone has
gone dispersed across the
vast expanse of the
English southeast, I
expect everyone will be
upping their game. After
all, with higher
education in Britain
comes a TV in your room.
However, this year I will
also have ready access to
Premiership football,
although not without a
fight. The cable provider
(read: monopoliser) in
Kingston has substituted
the
Premiership-broadcasting
Sportsnet with
Champions-League-broadcas
ting TSN (The Sports
Network). Aside from
their patently uncreative
network names, the two
channels are rather
distinct - especially
when it comes to their
football feeds. While the
international commentary
on Sportsnet has a
selection of normal
people with
comprehensible English
accents, TSN features a
reasonable Scottish
commentator paired with a
most unreasonable Irish
foil. The latter
seemingly insists on
calling every single goal
"a bulge in the old
onion bag",
single-handedly
masterminding the
transformation of an
esoteric piece of imagery
into a hackneyed phrase,
due to the worldwide
broadcast through parent
corporation ESPN. ESPN
viewers must think the
Irish really love their
onions. Especially those
that come in bags. All in
all, you'd be hard
pressed to find a greater
irritant in the
footballing world unless
perhaps Paul Dickov grew
a Robbie Savage hairdo
and surgically implanted
a pair of Hasselbaink
eyes. Aside from the
inflammatory analyst, the
greater problem has been
that I've been forced to
get digital cable just to
get Premiership football.
Two of the three channels
across which broadcasting
is split are only
available on analogue
cable if you purchase the
"variety
package", which when
totalled comes out to a
dollar less per month
than digital cable that
has several more
channels. The cable
company doesn't just
encircle the cash-bled
students though. Rather,
it must make a handsome
sum from the residences
on campus, as they
actually still subscribe
to the "variety
package" and, by
corollary, the doctrine
of student deprivation.
And this from a
university famed for its
commerce program.
Hopefully you've all
landed yourselves in
institutions less prone
to financial folly.
Speaking of which, there
had to be some mention of
Carrick, who appears to
be exactly that at a
jaw-dropping 18 million.
However, after the whole
Veron debacle, I have no
doubt that at least 2
million will be
appearance-based, 2
million player/club
performance-based, and
given his situation with
the national team quite
possibly another 2
million will be
England-based. The deal
is effectively not a lot
more down than van
Nistelrooy's move, which
was almost certainly 11
million cash. Of course,
every transfer this
summer (combined) pales
in comparison to the
whopping 30 million+
Shevchenko deal. What's
that you say? It was only
29 million? But that's
excluding the
multimillion signing on
fee and assuming the
multimillion agent's fee
is in the 29 figure. Then
there's the small matter
of the mansion and the
private jet. Bet you all
thought I was joking
about that before you
read what Crespo said he
was offered by Abramovic
to stay, right? Despite
all the talk of Duff's
slashed price move, the
deal of the summer surely
must belong to another
team that one of our
fellow FF players holds
dear. If life were like
the Football Manager
game, Bellamy's release
clause would have been
around the 60 million
mark - and certainly not
a tenth of that!
Blackburn pulled off
quite the coup to get
Bellamy, but now the
magician's secret has
been revealed as nothing
more than a contract that
the player could
effectively escape from
as soon as he was more a
Pedersen and less of a
Dickov. As it is likely
Colin has long abandoned
this message board, I'll
lay off the Dickov jokes
now. Hughes has brought
in some firepower though,
albeit of a distinctly
Football Manager variety.
If Benedict McCarthy can
break the offside trap 5
times per game like he
does in FM 2006, then
Blackburn will have a
more than ade...
July 12,
2006
at 23:24,
Feng Rao
said:
Well I feel I must thank
Joe for his donation of
his prize. I must say, I
certainly did not expect
to win...not with a
pretty poor group
stage...I'll see what I
can buy with it later.
July 12,
2006
at 17:52,
Joe Yu
said:
Congratulations Feng for
reclaiming his
predictions champion
crown. May the title
never enter his team name
again. The 10 pound
coupon could only be
given to me in GBP, so I
will paste the email onto
the World Cup FF message
board (which is private)
if Feng would like to use
it. If not, anyone else
can use it. The reason
why you might not want to
use it is because you
obviously have to enter
your personal information
(phone, email etc.), and
CD WOW's "I
agree" statement
seems to suggest that the
site is allowed to
distribute your
information to third
parties. You should
probably check up on that
before taking my word for
it of course.
July 11,
2006
at 09:03,
Feng Rao
said:
Heh. When I win something
it's obviously due to
match-fixing? Amazingly
enough, when I did happen
to catch a glance at the
front page of USA Today -
it was actually on the
World Cup, something most
people appear to be
oblivious to.
July 10,
2006
at 14:20,
Colin Fallon
said:
Congratulations to Feng,
who powers to victory
with Italy. Who'd have
thought it would be them
at the start of the
tournament? If you look
at their run through the
tournament, they
certainly have had a lot
of luck - their opponents
getting multiple red
cards in the group
stages, a very
questionable penalty in
stoppage time against
Australia, and France's
top penalty taker
headbutting Materazzi
five minutes before a
shoot-out in the final.
Clearly, the only
conclusion we can draw is
match-fixing...
July 9,
2006
at 07:37,
Feng Rao
said:
Okay, I'm back from a 3
day camping trip in
Olympic National Park,
Washington. I have also
now been up the Space
Needle and seen how lame
it is. People apparently
buy T-shirts saying that
they "made it"
to the top, i.e. they
managed to buy an
extortionately priced
ticket, and then were
able to go up an
elevator. However,
because of all this, I am
now covered in mosquito
bites and also completely
clueless as to what's
happened in the World
Cup. It seems Italy are
still in though, which
can only be a good thing.
Congratulations to Joe on
winning his prize.
July 7,
2006
at 22:25,
Joe Yu
said:
I have asked for the CD
WOW voucher in Canadian
dollars if possible.
However, if they can't do
this, I have asked for it
in pound sterling, and
the winner of predictions
can have it.
July 6,
2006
at 20:28,
Colin Fallon
said:
And the competition ends
with me subverting the
stereotype of English
fans - I'll be cheering
on France in the final,
as opposed to hating them
and wanting them to die,
as is traditionally
expected of English fans.
Still, even if Italy and
Feng win, at least it's
one FF competition this
year that Joe didn't win.
Although he did win a
CDWOW voucher. So he sort
of did win after all.
Damn. (I wonder what
you're spending it on,
Joe.)
July 6,
2006
at 09:06,
Joe Yu
said:
For some reason, I cannot
choose to have my prize
in Canadian dollars.
However, I may have my
pick of any of 4
different country's
Euros...
July 6,
2006
at 09:03,
Joe Yu
said:
How about that? As soon
as I made my last post,
they sent me my prize. If
only Staples mail-in
rebates were that fast...
(9 months and counting)
July 6,
2006
at 08:59,
Joe Yu
said:
At least I won something
in predictions. If you
take a look at the daily
challenge winners, you
will see my name under
the "Like a man
possessed" challenge
in which I correctly
guessed that Brazil would
have 55% of the
possession. This means
that I have won
absolutely nothing,
because I presumably
don't qualify for this CD
WOW thing as I am
overseas.
July 5,
2006
at 04:45,
Joe Yu
said:
And it will go right down
to the wire. Feng's pick
of Italy are still alive,
and remarkably enough,
two new scorers netted
for Italy again. I think
about half their team has
grabbed a goal now. At
this rate, Gattuso might
even get one.
July 4,
2006
at 08:33,
Joe Yu
said:
It's down to just Feng
and Colin now. It'll all
be decided tomorrow most
likely in the Germany v
Italy game - the 'final'
in disguise. There are a
few reasons why this may
well turn out to be the
case. France and Portugal
have one fewer day of
rest before the final.
Portugal, lucky not to
get several players
suspended due to 2 yellow
cards after the England
game, will now almost
certainly have several
players suspended for the
final if they go through.
Neither France nor
Portugal have beaten a
non-joint-bottom team
(i.e. a team that went
home with no points) by
more than a goal (bagging
one against a Spain on
all-out attack mode in
the last minute doesn't
count). France's one and
only plan B is the
uninspirational Trezeguet
- compare this with
Germany's and Italy's
backups who have all
scored/got assists
(Neuville, Borowski,
Odonkor, Iaquinta, Totti,
Inzaghi). Portugal's
leading striker has one
goal and hasn't scored
against a quality team
since the dawn of time; a
third of their goals have
come from penalties;
another third has come
from Maniche who will
never score against a
non-lame team that
doesn't give him acres of
space to shoot. France's
playmaker is Vieira - a
comparison of passing
ability with the likes of
Ballack or Totti would be
almost pointless here
were it not for the fact
that Ballack and Totti
seem to have an obsession
with shooting from way
out. Germany and Italy
are good at defending set
pieces and won't let
France sneak in like they
did against Brazil; they
also don't hold an
absurdly high line like
Spain. Germany and Italy
both have shootout
specialists in goal, thus
forcing Portugal and
France to think twice
before playing for
penalties. Therefore,
it's time for me to
gamble on Buffon or
Lehmann for tomorrow's
semi - I say 'gamble',
because I might have 2
goalies for the final.
However, if I get it
right, I will have one
for the 3rd place playoff
and one for the final.
(I've discovered goalies
are much higher scoring
than strikers in the
knock-out rounds.) I've
clawed my way back inside
the top 2000 after a
couple days' good work,
so I'm hoping to sneak
into the top 1000 at the
death again.
July 2,
2006
at 14:35,
Colin Fallon
said:
Let's all put aside
England's generally
rubbish World Cup, and
focus instead on how I'm
doing well in World Cup
predictions! While I
struggle to break into
the top fifty thousand on
Yahoo, on this game I'm
currently in 35th place.
What's more, most of the
top 10 have picked Brazil
to win. Sadly for me, I
can only get 10 of 20
points in the semis - and
while most people will
probably be in the same
situation, having
predicted Portugal and
France to crash out weeks
ago, there is no way that
none of the 34 people
ahead of me have
predicted Germany to win
the World Cup. So I can
probably wave goodbye to
spending that thousand
dollar prize on a laptop.
Oh well, time to beg my
parents for cash...
July 2,
2006
at 07:03,
Joe Yu
said:
Er. Yeah. What do I have
to say. Just read my
previous post with the
following adjustments:
Argentina => England;
Germany => Portugal;
Lehmann => Ricardo.
Perhaps also over the bar
=> onto the bar, as
far as the crucial
penalty was concerned
anyway.
July 1,
2006
at 07:42,
Joe Yu
said:
The curse of penalty
kicks has struck again.
With Argentina putting in
a good showing against
Germany, I thought that I
would reclaim the lead
for the first time since
the early stages.
However, Germany never
seems to lose on
penalties for some reason
- even when they take off
their top scorer. Perhaps
because they practise
more than other teams.
Perhaps they always feel
less pressure because
they've been the worse
team during the other 120
minutes. Perhaps because
Lehmann cheats off his
line every time. Who
knows. However, unlike in
the last couple of
Champions League
tournaments, refs aren't
calling goalkeeper
encroachment even when
both feet are clearly
over a foot in front of
the goalline. The problem
is not so much that a
greater angle is covered
(the goalie has to react
marginally faster if he's
further off his line),
but rather that it is far
easier to alter the
momentum of the ball in a
favourable direction when
you are diving slightly
forward; being in front
of the goalline also
means that such
diversions will often
permit a parry round the
post or over the bar
instead other types of
saves you might see in
open play where the
goalie can only parry
against the post because
they are right on the
goalline. However, Sepp
Blatter won't be
concerning himself about
this. After all, stricter
implementation of the
penalty laws doesn't slow
the game down to a
snail's pace, nor is it
highly ambiguous for refs
to try to implement, nor
does it take away any
chance of 11 v 11 on the
field due to
over-enthusiastic use of
the yellow card.
June 30,
2006
at 07:03,
Joe Yu
said:
Things are looking good
for Colin right going
into the quarter-finals.
The rankings predictably
did not change following
the round of 16, and with
Colin's selection of
Germany to progress, I
could fall off the pace
dramatically if Argentina
loses tomorrow. Hence, I
have opted to not place
all my eggs in one basket
for a change, picking
Ballack for my FF team,
so that I will get some
joy one way or another.
Last minute Ballack
sending off, here we
come! I have 1 defender,
4 midfielders, and 3
strikers playing
tomorrow, so
theoretically, my ranking
cannot plummet any
further. However, my team
will find some way of
achieving this feat
probably by all getting
booked in the Italy game.
Whatever happens, anyone
(except Feng) can still
catch me in FF, because I
can only have a maximum
of 8 players in the final
due to my 2 changes in
the knock-out stages so
far. I could potentially
end up with only 2
players if Ukraine and
France perform miracles.
Thus, someone who gambles
now and uses all their
transfers for players
from two teams will
probably win. Of course,
this strategy could also
be suicidal if your teams
go out. And right now, we
have some even match-ups
in terms of the form
book. Germany and
Argentina have probably
had the most convincing
performances. Brazil and
France have had one each
in that department.
Ukraine and Italy have
each had one
attractive-looking
scoreline, and that's
about it. And England and
Portugal have had pretty
much identical scorelines
in exactly the same
order. With Ronaldo
seemingly still a
possibility for Portugal,
the midfield might not be
as lopsided as I first
imagined. However, if you
said that you were going
to play Maniche and Tiago
against Gerrard and
Lampard in the
Premiership, people would
think you were having a
laugh. However, in World
Cup it doesn't work that
way for some reason.
Lampard is now incapable
of scoring and Gerrard no
longer scythes through
opposition defences with
his runs. However, as the
Canadian broadcasting
team will repeatedly
remind us, since the game
is on Canada Day
Hargreaves must at least
do well.
June 29,
2006
at 20:42,
Colin Fallon
said:
Warning: random
speculation ahead. As we
are all within 12 points
of each other, everyone
in this group is still
guaranteed victory if
their predicted team wins
the World Cup - it's
reasonably likely that
someone will have picked
the winner as nobody's
team has gone out yet.
However, out of the 8
quarter finalists, the
only teams that have so
far produced a convincing
win are Germany,
Argentina, Brazil and,
er, Ukraine. By this
logic, Brazil should beat
France (which is quite
likely anyway) and
Ukraine should beat Italy
(which is likely only if
the match is of similar
pace to the Switzerland
game). Those two results
will boost my ranking, as
will a win for Germany in
the lottery-like result
of their match with
Argentina. Then the only
thing that's left is for
me to cheer what's left
of Portugal on against
England. Or I could just
lket Feng win.
June 28,
2006
at 06:40,
Feng Rao
said:
Off on holiday, but not
out of this competition,
that's for sure. All 4 of
my semi-finalist
predictions can still
come true, unlike some
people...
June 27,
2006
at 22:09,
Colin Fallon
said:
And we've all got 24
points from the second
round. My quarter-final
success now depends on
the unlikely prediction
of Germany to win, and
the Judas-like prediction
of Portugal to win. As
these will never happen,
Feng is looking good for
a group victory, as Italy
have the easiest
fixture. Feng, however,
has gone off on holiday,
so he loses by default.
June 25,
2006
at 22:13,
Colin Fallon
said:
I am now 121st - it will
clearly be my highest
position of the whole
tournament. This is
because tomorrow I have
the USA getting through,
whereas everyone else
will have Italy, causing
an avalanche-like drop in
rank unless Italy lose.
The next day, I have
France and Spain like
everyone else so I will
hardly suffer, but in the
likely event of Spain
winning I lose a
predicted semi-finalist.
(In any case, I think the
winner plays Brazil,
meaning more
impossibilities). Then my
predicted winner plays
the so-far unbeatable
Argentina - 22 points
down the drain if they
lose. Finally, after
today's cardfest,
Portugal may not have 11
available players against
England, meaning they
lose by default. I should
really be concentrating
on that French exam I
have in about 35 hours
instead of this.
June 25,
2006
at 18:54,
Colin Fallon
said:
Feng's right; this is
where it all goes wrong.
My semifinalists are
Portugal, Germany, Brazil
and France; with Portugal
facing Holland and France
playing Spain in the
second round (and Germany
having to beat Argentina
next), there'll have to
be some big surprises if
I'm still going to have a
respectable rank by the
end of the competition.
At least my position at
the top of the group is
looking reasonably
secure, or at least it is
as long as England
continue to perform
unconvincingly.
June 25,
2006
at 11:51,
Feng Rao
said:
Hmm...this is perhaps
where my lack in
confidence in the
Argentinian team (or just
sheer ignorance) may
prove costly...same for
Colin as well. Joe is the
only one with Argentina
advancing past the
Quarters. Matt has
already discovered this
problem...
June 25,
2006
at 10:49,
Colin Fallon
said:
In the second round, it
looks like you will get a
slight gain in rank if
you get 8 points in a
day, and a huge drop if
you get 4. As USA and one
of France and Spain will
not get through to the
quarter finals, I can
only get 4 tomorrow and
the day after, so I need
Portugal to get through
today if I want to
salvage a decent rank.
I'm currently 347th - my
Yahoo rank is over 100
times this.
June 25,
2006
at 05:57,
Joe Yu
said:
We've all predicted
virtually the same teams
to progress through the
round of 16, so prepare
for absolutely no changes
in your position for the
next 3 days.
June 22,
2006
at 22:09,
Colin Fallon
said:
If you read Feng's
profile, you will see
that he has made the most
prescient prediction of
all of us so far. In the
actual games, I'm on
course to have less
points than I did two
days ago in Yahoo, and
although I held on to a
respectable rank in
predictions today, I
don't fancy my
predictions much for
tomorrow, so down I go.
June 21,
2006
at 17:05,
Colin Fallon
said:
Matt has done rather well
in the two matches played
so far today. It may be
time to get down to the
bookies and bet on the
scorelines he's predicted
for the evening. In other
news, we were all hoping
that Pauleta and Ronaldo
would not miss matches
for our Yahoo teams by
getting banned; luckily
Big Phil has avoided that
possibility by banning
them himself. At least I
still have my McDonalds
captain to play in
tonight's
winner-gets-to-play-Mexic
o showdown. Come on,
1-1...
June 20,
2006
at 22:54,
Feng Rao
said:
Oh dear, tomorrow I have
3 1-1 scorelines...now
what's the saying? Once
is an accident, twice is
a coincidence, three
times a conspiracy?...
June 20,
2006
at 08:51,
Colin Fallon
said:
...and I'm rocketing
towards the bottom of the
standings. Today, Joe and
I have done the usual,
and only have different
predictions on two of the
four matches - one of
which is the pointless
Poland v Costa Rica
match, the other is the
England match (and I
automatically lose if any
goals are scored). At
least my players are
scoring in Yahoo FF.
June 18,
2006
at 17:57,
Feng Rao
said:
Well, I am now climbing,
quite spectacularly, up
to what is now 1997th
place. I'm rather
surprised actually, that
I'm still doing rather
well considering the
numerous draws that are
now in my predictions,
though admittedly, my
score was largely helped
due to the rather odd
Italy-USA match
yesterday...
June 18,
2006
at 08:53,
Colin Fallon
said:
My ranking is actually
280th, which is the
highest it has ever been
at the end of a day of
matches. (It was 210th in
the middle of a day once,
but then a last-minute
goal in the evening match
dropped me about 400
places). Today, I have
predicted three 1-0
results, so my ranking
can surely only climb
given the form of the
World Cup so far. Even if
I have predicted Japan to
win.
June 18,
2006
at 05:06,
Joe Yu
said:
Colin is closing in on
the top 10. He has 28
points, which is only 6
behind lowest person on
the leaderboard. That's
quite the opposite to the
direction that I'm
travelling in World Cup
FF, where I have finally
broken a 4 day drop down
to a ranking of about
2000. This was quite
surprising considering I
picked a captain who
scored negative points,
as well as several other
players who furnished my
teamsheet with negative
points. The celebrity
league seems to have
found its feet at last,
and some of the teams are
doing respectably. Even
Ronald McDonald is no
longer last thanks
largely to several late
entrants.
June 15,
2006
at 21:59,
Colin Fallon
said:
And for the second day in
a row, late goals give me
points in the afternoon
match and then take
points from me in the
evening kick-off. Still,
I suppose I'm not really
in a position to
complain. I will be
tomorrow, though, after
none of my unimaginably
one-sided predictions
come true. (Check Feng's
predictions for tomorrow;
they're completely the
different to every
else's).
June 14,
2006
at 22:12,
Feng Rao
said:
Heh. Well Col is still
steaming ahead. My
eccentric predictions now
start to kick in. This
will mean that I either
beat everyone, or I come
last. Seeing as this
season in the Premiership
predictions saw me gain
barely over Dave, who
didn't even play for
three-quarters of it, I
am not going into my mass
of draws with much in the
way of luck. This either
means that my tactic has
now been cursed, or that
it's time for my winning
ways again. I have now
given up hope on the
Yahoo fantasy football as
well, seeing as I'm not
even going to be in the
country for the last half
of the world cup. I seem
to have also picked all
the players that decide
not to play, either
because of some unknown
injury (Deco), or because
they are frankly too fat
(Ronaldo).
June 14,
2006
at 16:17,
Colin Fallon
said:
I will probably continue
to post here frequently,
as this is the game on
which I've achieved a
vaguely respectable
position (around 1100th
here, as opposed to
around 74000th on Yahoo's
game). However, as I have
predicted two draws for
today's two remaining
matches, expect me to
plummet drastically. In
Yahoo's game, my
McDonalds team captain
did something notable for
once, but then was
awarded no points other
than the 8 for his goal.
Stupid game.
June 13,
2006
at 22:36,
Joe Yu
said:
Because you have to
refresh this page an
innumerable number of
times before the
"banter board"
appears in its entirety,
I am going to start
posting more on the Yahoo
message board - the only
thing that Yahoo has
improved, because you no
longer have to type while
a giant ad occupies the
majority of your monitor.
Unlike during the
Premiership season, Craig
Forrest has been taken
off the teleprompter on a
few occasions during this
World Cup. You knew it
wouldn't go well when the
first thing he did was
mispronounce it
"weird cup" in
his rush to finish his
segment before the
commercial break. For
some reason, he now sits
in the middle of the
panel. He is still
holding onto his record
of 10 correct results out
of the 14 matches though.
June 13,
2006
at 15:38,
Matt Rose
said:
Paragraphs are useful
things.
June 13,
2006
at 15:37,
Matt Rose
said:
Also, I do love
Mediawatch on
Football365.com. The
Americans not so much.
" Mediawatch has
never before stumbled
across the States-based
twincities.com, the
website of the leading
newspaper for the twin
cities of Minneapolis and
St. Paul in the heart of
middle America, but the
opening lines of its
World Cup editorial
suggests that it is
redder than the sunburnt
cardinals standing in
front of the Red Sea
eating tomatoes:
'If the government really
is serious about
identifying illegal
immigrants, it soon will
be provided a unique
opportunity to record
their whereabouts.
'All the Department of
Homeland Security has to
do is monitor the
city-by-city television
ratings of this month's
World Cup soccer
tournament. Agents should
be dispatched to any area
in which the ratings
reflect an unnaturally
high level of interest.
That likely signals a
concentrated pocket of
illegals.'
As for 'real' Americans,
'We don't like soccer
because we do understand
it. And it's awful.
'It's time to quit
apologizing and tell the
truth. When it comes to
soccer, we're right, and
the rest of the world is
wrong.
'Many spectators in
soccer-crazed countries
warm up for a big match
by hitting their neighbor
in the head with a brick.
And as soon as little
Nigel or Fiona is old
enough, mum and dad take
them out back and
practice squishing them
against a chain link
fence.
'Yes, America may be the
only country that doesn't
go goofy for soccer. We
also are the only
remaining super power.
Don't you see a
connection there?'
America is also the
most-despised country on
earth. Perhaps the more
pertinent question is
whether they can they see
the connection
there."
And did you hear this one
Joe?
"Not Even Graeme Le
Saux Was Capable Of This
From Canadian TV's
coverage of Mexico v
Iran:
Anchorman: "Craig,
how will the Mexican
goalkeeper approach this
game, given what's
happened to him this
week?"
Craig Forrest:
"Well, his father
passed away on Thursday -
he'll be disappointed
with that..." "
June 13,
2006
at 15:34,
Matt Rose
said:
OK, you can now see my
predictions. And since
I'm losing (I hadn't
actually checked this at
all since the start of
the tournament), I highly
doubt they're worth
noting.
I'm on a teen forum where
so many American girls
talk about how "the
British accent is sooo
cute!! (lyk omg)."
Presumably they're
unfamiliar with Scouse.
Or indeed the concept
that we have more accents
than cockney /
talk-like-the-Queen.
72 minutes gone in the
South Korea / Togo game,
and all of a sudden Colin
is heading for 3 points,
ending Feng's hopes of a
perfect score in the
process.
June 12,
2006
at 18:55,
Colin Fallon
said:
And even Joe, who gains
a solitary point, did not
have enough faith in the
mighty Czechs. I did,
however, correctly
predict the amount of
times they would get
fouled for the Daily
Challenge thing, so I may
be winning something
after all. This evening:
will Italy win
pathetically 1-0, or
pathetically 2-1?
June 12,
2006
at 02:46,
Joe Yu
said:
Canada is topping the
leaderboard at the
moment. With every game
turning out to be a
narrow victory, Feng has
done well to get 6 points
despite his many 1-1s.
Matt has still not
selected for his
predictions to be
displayed, so I can't
tell what he's picked.
Colin has taken the lead
after Serbia &
Montenegro failed to
score for me today, but I
am hoping that everyone's
lack of faith in the
Czech Republic will pay
off for me tomorrow.
June 11,
2006
at 04:42,
Joe Yu
said:
Colin and I actually have
different scorelines
tomorrow. Time to see how
much Iran wins by.
June 10,
2006
at 01:03,
Joe Yu
said:
Seeing as you cannot
change your predictions
from this point onward,
we may as well change our
settings to show our
predictions. That way,
when we inevitably all
score 1 point on each of
the next 14 matchdays, we
can at least scrounge up
some consolation from the
fact that we performed
our scoring feats in
different games. Not that
that applied today, of
course.
June 9,
2006
at 23:46,
Feng Rao
said:
Col, I think you might be
regretting your pick of
the winner now...that
German defence is not a
world cup winning
defence...it's like
Newcastle's defence, i.e.
non-existent.
June 9,
2006
at 22:20,
Colin Fallon
said:
After day 1, the scores
are thrillingly poised.
Zzz.
June 9,
2006
at 08:13,
Feng Rao
said:
There are East Anglian
accents?
Anyway...Colchester is in
Essex as far as I
know...oh, and I'm
assuming you have the
decent gmail address, and
not the now reject domain
of googlemail?
June 9,
2006
at 06:54,
Joe Yu
said:
I have finally stopped
changing my predictions
now. I decided to remove
some of my outsider picks
in my latest revision,
because I thought you
only got points for the
knockout matches if both
of your predicted teams
appeared in that match. I
now realize that that
isn't how it works. You
actually get points so
long as your team reaches
the round that you say
they'll reach - a format
that makes much more
sense. Nonetheless, I
think my switches are
reasonable following the
latest round of injuries.
With Shevchenko not
having completed a match,
I have decided to put
Spain clear above them.
In the Group of Death 2
(aka the Group of
Injuries), I've removed
the Czech Republic from
top spot after I lost
track of how many injured
players they had. I had
formerly installed them
as the best debutante
(not counting
Czechoslovakia here),
because their starting 11
didn't seem to include
any first timers to
international competition
at all. However, I figure
that Italy will be able
to handle the injury
situation better.
Effectively, that gives
me a rather uncreative
list of qualifiers for
the knock-out stages.
Perhaps I should change
stuff around some more.
June 9,
2006
at 06:17,
Joe Yu
said:
Here are the picks of the
Canadian World Cup
broadcast's
hosts/pundits/Craig
Forrest for anyone who is
interested... The regular
host (I'm guessing you
know that translates to
TV presenter in British
English) for the
Premiership games has
picked England at 9/1.
Craig Forrest has picked
Holland at 14/1.
Football-related person
with English accent has
picked Brazil at very
short odds that I don't
remember. And host of the
World Cup last time round
has picked Spain for whom
odds don't apply they're
guaranteed to reach the
quarter-finals before
losing (possibly 16/1).
You haven't miscounted -
there are indeed 4 hosts.
Technically, Craig
Forrest is thus in a
pundit's role along with
the guy with the English
accent. However, they
compress his air time so
much (to accomodate
commercials etc.) that he
now frequently ends up
trying to read the
teleprompter so fast that
the sentences don't make
sense. The English guy is
involved in football
development programs of
some sort, and so can
actually communicate a
fleeting idea or two
before the Adidas
commercials start to
role. And to answer
Feng's question: everyone
who meets me asks about
my accent, or at least
looks puzzled until I
explain why a Chinese
person would have an
English accent (called a
British accent in North
America). However, I
don't think I have as
distinctive an East
Anglian accent as before,
assuming my accent was
East Anglian, because
that's where I learned
English (I never bothered
to check this while I was
in England). The one
thing I am fairly certain
about is that I don't
have a Canadian accent
(often called an American
accent in Britain, but
the accent in Canada is
actually slightly milder
than a CNN newsreader's
for example, and
generally much more
homogeneous across the
country than American
regional variations). I
still find it puzzling
how exactly you roll an r
or omit a t. However, I
have incorporated certain
Canadianisms into my
vocabular, such as
"eh" and
"Tim Hortons".
(You can consider
yourself very culturally
in-tune if you understood
that last one.) If you
would like to verify all
this for yourself, I'm
now a frequent user of
Skype, because I use it
to talk with my parents.
My ID is joeyu1 (like my
gmail address, which I
may or may not have given
you previously) and I'm
pretty much always on
because it would take
effort to turn it to
default off. However, I
will not have unshackled
myself of the
ball-and-chain that is
spring term Organic
Chemistry until after my
exam next Thursday
afternoon (scheduling at
its finest...). However,
I'm finally free from
Kingston after that. I've
also finally got Windows
Live Messenger to work -
some registry file wasn't
right for some reason, so
I couldn't sign in to MSN
or get Windows Updates.
June 9,
2006
at 05:43,
Joe Yu
said:
You can set up all of
your teams on the Yahoo
game on the matchday
(prior to the match of
course) or any time
before that so long as
the fixture is known.
That is to say, you can
pick your 11 players for
each of the group stage
matchdays already;
however, you cannot pick
your team for the
knockout stages yet.
Obviously, this is all
assuming Yahoo gets the
lockdown right.... all of
a sudden, T&T at odds
of 1001 to 1 isn't
looking so unlikely.
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not affiliated in any way with FIFA or the
2006 FIFA World Cup™ Germany.